Wednesday, December 21, 2022

The 2022 Binness Awards

 by Adam Riske

What award did your favorite movies get this year?

2021 Oscar Movies I Couldn’t See Until 2022 Power Ranking: 1) The Worst Person in the World, 2) CODA, 3) Drive My Car

Best Duo in a Good Movie: Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin

Best Duo in an OK Movie: Nicolas Cage and Pedro Pascal, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

Best Netflix Movie: Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio

Best Performance: Mia Goth, Pearl and X

Best Surprise Villain: The Northman

Better Than I Expected: Fall

Biggest Surprise: I became way into the Terrifier franchise after seeing Terrifier 2

Blech: Don’t Worry Darling

Did I Hallucinate It? Clerks III

Dumbest Shit Ever: Jurassic World: Dominion

Enough Already: V/H/S/99

Everyone Who Works at Olive Garden is Hot: Spin Me Round

Funniest Supporting Performance: Chloe East, The Fabelmans

Funniest Villains: Orphan: First Kill

Good Movie. Never Watching it Again: Fresh

Goofiest: Samaritan

“Heartbreak Feels Good in A Place Like This”: Armageddon Time

Hidden Gem: I Love My Dad
I Can’t Believe I Shazamed a Song From: Spirit Halloween: The Movie

I Definitely Fell Asleep During: The Batman

I Dunno…Recommended? Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe

I Hate It: Thor: Love and Thunder

I Liked Some of It: Nope

I Mean, Whatever: Jackass Forever

I’m The Only Person Who Liked: Pinocchio (the Robert Zemeckis one)

I’m The Only Person Who Saw: The Automat

Instant Energy: Justin Long, Barbarian

It’s Aight: The Tender Bar
It’s Fine: I Want You Back

I Weep for the Children: Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers

Least Intimidating Villain: Paradise City

Like a Movie from 1997: Ticket to Paradise

Like a Movie from 2002: Deep Water

Like a Movie from 2007: Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

Like A TV Movie That Would Have Aired on Fox in 1992: The Munsters

Like Eating at Applebee’s when you Wanted to Eat at Chili’s: Hellraiser (2022)

Made Me Feel Bad: Resurrection

Most Annoying: Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Most Boring: Crimes of the Future

Most Clamoring for an MTV Movie Award Nomination for Best Villain: Tom Hanks, Elvis

Most Depressing Time Capsule: Bodies Bodies Bodies

Most Directed: Everything Everywhere All at Once

Most Overstuffed: Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

Most Underseen: Emily the Criminal

Movie I Like Less than Everyone Else: The Black Phone

Movie I Like More than Everyone Else: House of Darkness

Never Stop Directing: Steven Soderbergh, Kimi

Not as Good as Draft Day but Pretty Close: Avatar: The Way of Water
Not as Good as Love, Lights, Hanukkah! Christmas at the Golden Dragon

Pretty Good: Ambulance

Pretty Sure He’s Not Acting: Mark Rylance, Bones and All

Put Her in More Stuff: Amber Midthunder, Prey

Scariest: The Menu

She’s Just Really Poised and It’s Distracting: Jennifer Connelly, Top Gun: Maverick

So Bad It Should Be Against the Law: Lightyear

Stop Being Long: Studio 666

That’s the Ending? Men

Ugh: Offseason
Wait, That Was This Year? Turning Red

We All Have Problems, Bud: Cha Cha Real Smooth

Whatever: Out There Halloween Mega Tape

When Will They Leave That Room?! The Bob’s Burgers Movie

Worst Movie: Hocus Pocus 2

WTF: Mad God

You Can Stop at Any Time Now: Scream (2022)

You Fascinate Me: Corey Cunningham, Halloween Ends


  1. Somebody mentionned Mad God 😎😜

  2. Binness Awards are the best awards

  3. I love the Binness Awards!

    However we may have to fight about this one later:
    "It’s Fine: I Want You Back"

    I loved that movie but maybe I was just tired of awards-y stuff when I watched it yesterday which primed me to really love it. Either that or I just love Jenny Slate more than any other person (very possible).

    I could not agree more about your "That's the ending?" choice, though.