Friday Night Double Features Vol. 43

 by Adam Riske and Patrick Bromley

The real fireworks begin with these 10 double feature suggestions.

Double Feature 1:

Adam: #1: Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

Patrick: #2: Road House (1989)

Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Blade: Trinity, The Perfect Weapon, The Expendables

Patrick: Theme: Wrestler Henchmen

Patrick: I still am not sure if I’ve ever seen Universal Soldier: The Return (if I have, I can’t recall anything about it) so the only thing I really know is that Goldberg plays one of the bad guys. That got me thinking about movies in which wrestlers play henchmen, which they might be better at than taking the lead in some cases. I feel like this would be a fun night even if none of the movies outside of Road House achieve greatness.

Adam: Pairing Universal Soldier: The Return with something as good as Road House (1989) was smart since the headliner isn’t going to be for everyone. I like it in a Sci-Fi Channel way, but I know it’s not good.

Double Feature 2:

Patrick: #1: Wyatt Earp (1994)

Adam: #2: The Quick and the Dead (1995)

Adam: Trailers/Shorts: The Hunting Party, Zandy’s Bride, Bite the Bullet, Unforgiven, Geronimo: An American Legend

Adam: Theme: Gene Hackman Westerns

Adam: For as much as I love Gene Hackman in Westerns, I’m surprised I still have so many unseen ones. I’ve been meaning to revisit Wyatt Earp for a while, and I picked The Quick and the Dead to follow since it’s a Western but one with a different vibe than Wyatt Earp (plus it’s not that long which we’ll need after the 3 hour headliner). Have you seen any of the movies in the trailer block? Are they good? I’ve only seen Unforgiven of that group.

Patrick: I’ve never seen (or even heard of) Zandy’s Bride, so thanks for putting it on my radar. The others are all good! It helps that I love Gene Hackman and I love westerns, so I guess I’m a mark for this double. Putting TQatD after Wyatt Earp is a really smart move. Most theaters would just play Wyatt Earp by itself but that’s not how we do things at the Cinemarink.

Double Feature 3:

Adam: #1: Nothing to Lose (1997)

Patrick: #2: The Rainmaker (1997)

Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Soul Food, Alien: Resurrection, Volcano

Patrick: Theme: 1997 Movies That Grossed Between $40 and $50 million

Patrick: 1997 was one of those great year for movies where the mid-budget offerings were just as good or better than the blockbusters. I haven’t seen Nothing to Lose since 1997 and remember very little about it, but I love The Rainmaker a lot and couldn’t miss an opportunity to slot it second. I’m sure it’s just the nostalgia talking but even the trailer block makes me happy, and I don’t love every movie included.

Adam: I rewatched Nothing to Lose once and it was still Nothing to Lose, meaning it’s not very memorable but totally enjoyable as it goes along. The Rainmaker is phenomenal and so is the trailer block. 1997 really was a great year for movies big, medium, and small.

Double Feature 4:

Patrick: #1: The Taking of Beverly Hills (1991)

Adam: #2: The Last Boy Scout (1991)

Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Necessary Roughness, The Program, Rudy, a 1991 49ers-Chiefs simulation game of John Madden Football on Super Nintendo

Adam: Theme: Early '90s Football

Adam: I love that the late-'80s/early '90s were so heavy on sports and sports-adjacent movies. The Taking of Beverly Hills is a blast (Kozak in a football jersey!) so I decided to lean into maximalism with The Last Boy Scout as the second feature. This must play on a Friday night. Because it’s a great night. For football.

Patrick: This double KILLS. I still maintain that 1991 was the best year for action movies ever and these two movies are part of the reason why. The fact that they’re both about football is great for the theme but what really unifies them is that they both kick ass.

Double Feature 5:

Adam: #1: Species (1995)

Patrick: #2: Killer Condom (1996)

Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Alien, Poltergeist II: The Other Side, Future Kill

Patrick: Theme: H.R. GigArt

Patrick: One of the standouts of Species (a movie you finally brought me around to liking quite a bit) is the H.R. Giger creature designs, so I thought it might be cool to devote a night to his work. I know he’s most famous for Alien so it would have made sense to play that second, but it just felt like the two movies were too similar for that to be a great double. I’ve never seen Killer Condom despite owning the Troma DVD years ago so this will be a good chance to finally cross it off the list. Plus, it’s in German so we can pretend we play classy international films at the Cinemarink.

Adam: This is sly because under normal circumstances I would never watch a Troma movie again on my own but for you, under these circumstances, I will. After all, you might finally bring me around to liking them like I did for you with Species. Plus, putting Species & Killer Condom on a marquee is very funny.

Double Feature 6:

Patrick: #1: No Strings Attached (2011)

Adam: #2: Garden State (2004)

Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Beautiful Girls, Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace, Brothers, Your Highness

Adam: Theme: Natalie Portman’s Unworthy & Inappropriate Suitors

Adam: I feel like Natalie Portman is difficult to pair on screen romantically because she always seems like she deserves a better match. It’s like her co-stars are not smart, cool, or classy enough. Two examples are Zach Braff and Ashton Kutcher. More examples are Tobey Maguire and whoever she ended up with in Your Highness. Plus, creepy dudes are always trying to rizz her up whether they’re too old (Timothy Hutton) or too young (Jake Lloyd). Am I crazy or am I onto something?

Patrick: No, I think you’ve hit it on the head. What a weird aspect of her filmography. I actually like her in both of these movies, but I don’t think she’s particularly well suited for romance movies, probably for all the reasons you outlined. Some actors can only be taken seriously, I guess.

Double Feature 7:

Adam: #1: Coneheads (1993)

Patrick: #2: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Electric Dreams, A-Ha “Take On Me” video, The Adventures of Pinocchio 

Patrick: Theme: Directed by Steve Barron

Patrick: I know nothing about Steve Barron except that he made all of these movies, and I thought putting TMNT after Coneheads would make for a fun night of junk food movies. Is the A-Ha video the best thing he’s ever directed?

Adam: That’s a great music video but my personal pick is still Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) for best Barron. I like the guy, what can I say? I’m also a part of the The Adventures of Pinocchio hive. That movie rules. I will consume mass quantities of concessions at this double feature.

Double Feature 8:

Patrick: #1: Body Slam (1986)

Adam: #2: D.C. Cab (1983)

Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Race for the Yankee Zephyr, Alone in the Dark, Rocky III, Commercial for Mr T cereal, first episode of The A-Team TV series

Adam: Theme: Big Screen A-Team

Adam: This threw me off a bit in a good way. I knew nothing about Body Slam, so it sent me on a path of exploration that led me to The A-Team television series. I love when our double features do that. It’s like a little cinematic history lesson for me. How did I do? Are these movies good and do they pair well together? I tried to keep the picks (even for the trailer block) era (era) appropriate for around when The A-Team was on television.

Patrick: This might be my favorite double on the schedule this month because both D.C. Cab and Body Slam are like the exact same amount of good and all the trailers rule. Turns out the cast of The A-Team was making pretty good movies around this time. I even like Race for the Yankee Zephyr, and not just because it puts Ken Wahl on the schedule for the second time this month.

Double Feature 9:

Adam: #1: Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

Patrick: #2: Destination Wedding (2018)

Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: I Love You to Death, Parenthood, Always Be My Maybe

Patrick: Theme: Funny Keanu

Patrick: Keanu kind of has that Natalie Portman thing were directors only want him to be serious, especially now that he’s Mr. Sad Bastard John Wick action guy. Early in his career he was allowed to be funny more regularly, but once he got locked into a certain kind of movie it’s only been certain filmmakers who still bother to tap into just how hilarious he can be on screen. A night devoted to his lighter side might help audiences remember that.

Adam: This is incredible and in the running for my pick to cover on our annual FNDF podcast this December. I love both movies and you’re right about how funny Keanu is on screen, especially in Destination Wedding (which I’m proud of myself for having on my top 10 list in 2018).

Double Feature 10:

Patrick: #1: The Blues Brothers (1980)

Adam: #2: Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Used Cars, License to Drive, Pink Cadillac

Adam: Theme: Car Comedies

Adam: I originally had this as 1980 Action Comedies and paired The Blues Brothers with Smokey and the Bandit II but that just made me wish I could book the original Smokey and the Bandit instead. So, I did! Car comedies kinda rule, don’t they?

Patrick: They’re really fun. I feel like a child saying that it’s fun to watch cars crash but it’s pretty fun to watch cars crash. I know this double would sell out.