Thursday, June 7, 2018

Friday Night Double Features Vol. 5

by Adam Riske and Patrick Bromley
May the double bills be with you, always.

Double Feature 1:
Adam: #1: Evil Dead (2013)
Patrick: #2: True Romance (1993)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning, Street Trash, Ghoulies
Patrick: Theme: Toilet Trauma

Patrick: One of the most effective scenes in the Evil Dead remake for me is when Lou Taylor Pucci hits his head on the toilet, which immediately makes me think of Alabama beating Tony Soprano over the head with the lid of a toilet tank. It all seems like it would hurt a lot. Plus, I think these two movies would be really fun together, even if we do overdose on violence.

Adam: This feels like it should take place at the Portage or Patio Theater. You need to smell the urine and popcorn. I am looking forward to the double feature, but might have to excuse myself during the trailers for some fresh air.

Double Feature 2:
Patrick: #1: Aliens (1986)
Adam: #2: Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Hellraiser, My Two Dads Episode: “Basket Case,” Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, Mad About You Episode: “Cake Fear”
Adam: Theme: Hell-Reiser

Adam: I think pairing these two movies would work because they are both relentless and draining. If we invited Paul Reiser to this, would he pour Raisinets on his popcorn like he did in Whiplash?

Patrick: The good news is that if he can’t come, we can invite Greg Evigan as his backup.

Adam: Staci Keanan, please. Work your LinkedIn.

Double Feature 3:
Adam: #1: A Knight’s Tale (2001)
Patrick: #2: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: One Missed Call, Sinister 2, 40 Days 40 Nights, Warpaint “Billie Holiday” video, The Rules of Attraction
Patrick: Theme: Sossa, Mon

Patrick: I think you might be a bigger Sossamon fan than I am, but I don’t think she got a very fair shot. It’s super disappointing that A Knight’s Tale and 40 Days and 40 Nights were basically her window to become a movie star and then it closed. She’s good in both of those movies and had a different energy than some of her contemporaries. I know she’s not in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang very much, but I couldn’t resist programming it next because both movies are so much fun.

Adam: Sossamon reminds me of Han in the Fast and the Furious franchise. She’s beautiful, yes (just like Han, of course), but she’s got this cool vibe to her that I find most appealing. I believe Sossamon could handle any situation. If I was stuck on a Sega level, I could hand her the controller and she would beat the game.

Double Feature 4:
Patrick: #1: The Howling (1981)
Adam: #2: Dead & Buried (1981)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Scanners, Final Exam, Escape from New York, Time Bandits
Adam: Theme: 1981 Night with AVCO Embassy Pictures

Adam: Nothing clever here. Just saw the opportunity to build a great double feature. P.S. I almost bought a Blu-ray of The Howling today, but then remembered I’d have to watch the scary-as-hell opening scene again, so I chickened out.

Patrick: This is one of those lineups where I love both movies and even the trailers have me excited. Also, I had no idea you were so freaked out by Robert Picardo. Have you ever ridden in a Johnny Cab?

Adam: I had no idea until now that Robert Picardo was the guy in the beginning of The Howling. Makes sense because Joe Dante. Yeah, The Howling and Twilight Zone: The Movie are the two scariest movie openings for me. Can’t handle ‘em. Just can’t.

Patrick: Robert Picardo is in Twilight Zone, too! He’s the gremlin on the wing. You’re welcome!

Double Feature 5:
Adam: #1: The Black Dahlia (2006)
Patrick: #2: The Gift (2000)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: P.S. I Love You, New Year’s Eve, Logan Lucky, Fergie “L.A. Love” video
Patrick: Theme: Hilary Swank Seems Miscast

Patrick: I’ll be glad to revisit The Black Dahlia, because I remember liking it but maybe only because I was forcing myself to like it because De Palma. My big takeaway was that Hilary Swank and Scarlett Johansson should have switched roles, because I’m not positive Swank does femme fatale well. She’s better in The Gift, but still pushing the Southern Gothic thing a little hard. I really like her as an actress, but she needs the right part. Also, what the fuck is she doing in a Fergie video?

Adam: I re-watched The Black Dahlia a couple of years ago and still enjoyed it. It’s such a weird movie. The story it’s telling is crazy dark but the movie is almost fun which it probably shouldn’t be. I’ve never seen The Gift (2000) so this is a solid double bill for me. And yes, for such a lauded actress, how does someone get miscast as much as Swank? My favorite thing about Swank is that she blocks Annette Bening from Oscars. I know Bening is a fine actress, but it’s too good of a sports narrative so I don’t want her to get over the hump. The Raptors can’t beat LeBron.

Double Feature 6:
Patrick: #1: The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
Adam: #2: Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Nicole Kidman block (BMX Bandits, Far and Away, Malice, Dead Calm, Eyes Wide Shut, To Die For, Batman Forever, To Die For, Practical Magic or Ale will be mad at me, The Others, Moulin Rouge!)
Adam: Theme: Born in Hawaii

Adam: This was one of those double bills where I agonized for too long over what to put as the second feature and then just eventually googled Albert Pyun and looked for clues. I thought picking Cyborg was too obvious. Luckily, I saw he was born in my favorite state and that led me down a righteous path. I’ve never seen Momoa’s Conan, so this will be a good opportunity to finally see it. Plus, Nicole!

Patrick: I went to Mamoanan the Barbarian first show, first day. The first 5 to 10 minutes are amazing. Then there’s a lot more movie. I do think it would pair well with S&S, though, because they’re both violent and a little silly and feature a lot of people with swords. I keep waiting for a The Sword and the Sorcerer Blu-ray.

Double Feature 7:
Adam: #1: The Punisher (2004)
Patrick: #2: Romeo is Bleeding (1993)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Armageddon, No Way Out, The Postman, Code Name: The Cleaner
Patrick: Theme: We Might Be the Only Two People Programming a Will Patton Double Feature Tonight

Patrick: We might be the only two people programming a Will Patton double feature tonight.

Adam: One of my favorite things about recording a show with you is when we surprise one another with something we both like. The Will Patton discovery is near the top of that list. You liking Will Patton gave me permission to openly like Will Patton.

Double Feature 8:
Patrick: #1: Universal Soldier (1992)
Adam: #2: Juice (1992)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Solo, Soldier, Bullet, Gridlock’d, Gang Related
Adam: Theme: 2 Bots- 2- 2Pac

Adam: If you program the trailers in between the two movies, it dovetails beautifully.

Patrick: This is a really good double feature because the movies are so dissimilar from one another, but Juice is still pulpy enough to play well with Universal Soldier. It’s not like trying to program a heavy drama afterwards. Can we tack on 2 Fast 2 Furious at the end? 2 Bots 2 2Pac 2 2 Fast 2 Furious?

Adam: Can we tack it on? I already updated the marquee! Theater ain’t empty, cuz.

Double Feature 9:
Adam: #1: Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Patrick: #2: Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Life as We Know It, Alice in Wonderland (2010), Julie Brown “Cuz I’m a Blonde” music video, The Real Blonde
Patrick: Theme: Cuz I’m a Blonde

Patrick: The fact that Tim Burton directed both movies is actually total coincidence, because the reason I picked the theme is because both movies feature brunette actresses going blonde for not understandable reasons. It looks and feels weird on both. Is Tim Burton just trying to temper his goth nonsense? Does he think being blonde makes both actresses seem more innocent? This would be a pretty cool double feature, though.

Adam: Since age 8, I have had such a crush on blonde Winona Ryder in Edward Scissorhands. It’s like when Mountain Dew introduced Baja Blast (same great taste but with a new twist). As for the double feature, I would definitely watch these two movies together.

Double Feature 10:
Patrick: #1: The Ambulance (1990)
Adam: #2: Grim Prairie Tales (1990)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Patriot Games, The Meteor Man, The Lion King, A Family Thing, his scene in The Sandlot
Adam: Theme: ‘90s James Earl Jones

Adam: I have not seen either of these movies but would like to see both. I came close to a Janine Turner double feature (not enough trailers) or a Northern Exposure one (too close to Action McBeal). Is The Ambulance worth checking out?

Patrick: Google “Janine Turner” and then tell me if you still want to watch two of her movies in a row. You made the right call with JEJ. The Ambulance is really fun! It’s Larry Cohen. How could it not be?

Adam: Rumor has it if you google “Janine Turner” she will call you and say “Whaddya wanna know?”

1 comment:

  1. Yay for the Will Patton love! I can no longer read James Lee Burke’s Robicheaux novels anymore, because I need Will Patton’s voice to carry me away to literature land. He does the most amazing narrations for the audio versions of a lot of those books.
    Your double feature 9 theme made me laugh. I’ve noticed that as well and it happens a lot; Eva Green in Dark Shadows and Helena Bonham Carter in Big Fish are two others I can think of off the top of my head. Totally forgot about Big Fish until just now.

    I always enjoy your double feature columns! Another fun installment!