by Adam Riske
All Eyez on Me or Gotti) that I’m bizarrely drawn to. It’s my addiction, apparently. The film tanked, opening at #19 in its opening weekend behind Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in that film’s 14th weekend. On Wired’s opening day, I remember being at Lake Geneva with my family and thinking to myself how great it would be if on the way home from the lake we went to Popeyes for dinner and then went to see Wired. I was a weird second grader. Even stranger, as a grown-up, I love going to the lake, enjoy Popeyes and see almost every drug addiction movie. I just realized it’s within my power to live that perfect day I was chasing on August 25, 1989 (sly grin).
Speed goodwill), Morgan Freeman (Shawshank VHS heat) and was directed by The Fugitive’s Andrew Davis. How did this go wrong? My best guess is it opened too late in the summer. By that point there was already Twister, Mission: Impossible, The Rock, Eraser, Independence Day, Fled and Supercop out there. Maybe people were actioned out? Chain Reaction opened at #4 behind A Time to Kill, Independence Day, and Matilda (another debut that weekend, along with the rapper-actor-chef Coolio vehicle Phat Beach opening at #22). Just think: if they came out earlier that summer, we might be getting Chain Reaction: Fallout and Phat Beach: Here We Go Again in theaters this summer.
The Others (I mean, sure), Rat Race (I dunno, kinda) and The Princess Diaries (that’s my song!). I remember O came out the day after I finished Hell Week in my fraternity. All the guys in my pledge class were all “RISKE! We’re brothers now! Let’s get hammered!” and I was in my head like “I’m going to walk to the library to catch the bus to the mall to walk a mile down the street to Showplace East 11 to see O. Seventy-five percent because I want to see O and twenty-five percent because I’m sick of you guys and I’m starting to realize joining this fraternity was a mistake. But mostly O.”
xXx. That’s bad. Not bad though, is the climax of Blood Work with Clint Eastwood and Jeff Daniels. SPOILER It’s one of the dumbest/funniest talking killer scenes ever END SPOILER. The thing I’ll always remember most about Blood Work was that I wanted to see it opening weekend and my girlfriend at the time was like “It’s my turn to pick. You blew it with Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat.”
Shattered Glass and I’m all about journalism movies. Watch it with August and Wicker Park (both underrated imho) and have yourself a JoshFest!
You’re Next (2013) - I don’t blame the studio (Lionsgate) for this one. They put in the work. Everything was pointing to You’re Next being a sleeper hit and then it never happened. Instead of the slow burn run similar to Scream that I was expecting, You’re Next debuted at #6 and fell out of the top 10 the following weekend. This makes me sad. I love it. You’re Next is a highlight of the indie horror renaissance of the past ten years, for which I have a great amount of fondness (others I really like or love include The House of the Devil, Frozen, The Woman, The Innkeepers, Maniac, V/H/S 1&2, We Are What We Are, Starry Eyes, Creep, Late Phases, Tales of Halloween, The Blackcoat’s Daughter, Bone Tomahawk, Green Room, The Witch, The Love Witch and Revenge). Haven’t seen it? Maybe you’re next.*
*Do you get the joke? The movie is called You’re Next and then I was saying that you should be the next one to watch it if you haven’t seen it before.
What are some August movies of the past that you thought would be huge but weren’t? Or we can just talk about Alexis Bledel...that’s fine, too.