90 Minute Movie That Felt Like 3 Hours: Proud Mary
Angriest I Got During A Movie: The entirety of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
Aww Hell Naw! Gamora’s fate in Avengers: Infinity War
Best Action Movie from 2003: SuperFly (2018)
Best Action Sequence: Helicopter finale, Mission: Impossible: Fallout
Best Actor in A VH1 Biopic: Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
Best British Horror Anthology From 2018 with Martin Freeman: Ghost Stories
Best Comeback: Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman
Best Comedy That’s Never Funny: Crazy Rich Asians
Best Delayed Sequel: The Strangers: Prey at Night
Best “Fuck Yeah!” Moment: John Cho knocking popcorn out of that punk’s hands, Searching
Best Headache: Hereditary
Best Movie No One Saw: Tully
Best Movie to Watch on an Airplane: Chappaquiddick
Best On-Screen Duo: Winona Ryder & Keanu Reeves, Destination Wedding
Best Soccer Team: Den of Thieves
Best Soundtrack: A Star is Born (2018)
Best Supporting Actor: Cheddar Goblin, Mandy
Best Supporting Actress: Joey King, Slender Man
Best Waterfall Combat Sequence: All of them in Black Panther
Biggest Disappointment: Sicario: Day of the Soldado
Blandest: Tomb Raider (2018)
Bloodiest: Revenge (2018)
Bullshit: Thoroughbreds
Coma: Christopher Robin
Complete Nonsense: Venom
Cutest Mom: Wendi McLendon-Covey, Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween
Decent: The House with a Clock in its Walls
Double Decent: Halloween (2018)
Favorite Performance: Ethan Hawke, First Reformed
Freakiest Scene: The bear that screamed like a human in Annihilation
Fuck You Too: Skyscraper
Funniest (tie): Gotti, Speed Kills
Godawful but Well-Made: Isle of Dogs
Has 1 Good Minute: Rampage
Hot Jewish Cinema That’s Somehow Not Hot: Disobedience
I Can’t Believe I Saw: Mid90s
I Don’t Like Movies Anymore: A Wrinkle in Time
I Mean, Sure? Super Troopers 2
It’s A Perfect Movie: Hell Fest
It’s Fine: Creed II
It’s Funny: Game Night
I Wish I Liked It More: First Man
I Would’ve Quit for Sure: Filmworker
Laziest Sex Scene: Red Sparrow
Like A Good Mad TV Sketch: Sorry to Bother You
Made Me Hungry: Green Book
Meanest: Unfriended: Dark Web
Meh: White Boy Rick
Most Annoying: Bad Times at the El Royale
Most Average Comedy From 2005: Blockers
Most Depressing (tie): Eighth Grade and Three Identical Strangers
Most Exhausting: Deadpool 2
Most Generic: The Nun
Most Heartfelt: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Most Hyper: Teen Titans Go! To the Movies
Most Redbox: Hotel Artemis
Most Unintentionally Hilarious: On Chesil Beach
Movie I Want to Hug: Paddington 2
Movies Are Dumb: Pacific Rim: Uprising
Movie Saver: Anne Hathaway, Ocean’s 8
Movie That Hates You: The Predator
Movie That Wants to Curb You: Summer of 84
Not for Me Unfortunately: The Domestics
Only Because Of AMC Stubs A-List: Operation Finale
Outlier: I thought The Incredibles 2 was boring
Pleasant: Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
Pleasant Surprise (tie): The Equalizer 2, Instant Family
Rabbit Movie Power Ranking: 1) The Favourite, 2) Peter Rabbit
Saddest Bastards: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
Saw It Three Times: Little Italy
Saw It to Write A Funny Review & Then No One Commented on the Review For: The Hurricane Heist
Shitematography: Solo: A Star Wars Story
Should Be Studied in A Museum: Death Wish (2018)
Silliest: Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare
Sneakily Sexy: Ant-Man and the Wasp
That Was Just Lovely: Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
That Was This Year? The Commuter
A Bit Too Quiet: A Quiet Place
Triple Decent with Good Leanings: Upgrade
Ugh! The Meg
Underseen: You Were Never Really Here
Very Good When It’s Not Very Bad: A Simple Favor
Walkouts: The Death of Stalin, Tag
What Are Kids Movies Anymore? Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch
Worst Chicago Accent: Colin Farrell, Widows
Worst Comedy From 2002: Action Point
Worst Movie: The Happytime Murders
Worst Narration: Ready Player One
WTF x Infinity: Kin
Thank you for identifying what Bohemian Rhapsody was for me. I could not place what I thought it was but VH1 biopic is the perfect comparison. Look forward to this column each year!
ReplyDeleteI like to think that on his first day of Widows, there was a point where Robert Duvall leaned in and said "knock it off, Colin. Talk like a fuckin' human." And Steve McQueen had to sadly tell him that they already shot most of Colin Farrell's scenes, and they had to stick with it.
ReplyDeleteThe Commuter has actually come out every year in January for the last 18 years.
ReplyDeleteHell Fest I would give the Ray Durham award, it does everything really good, but not great, but I always loved the really good players, not the great ones.
This is the best comment of the year. Ray Durham put it over the top.
DeleteJeez thanks,I better retire now.
DeleteI agree with Adam on this. A Ray Durham reference is grounds to just shut the comments down altogether. Only downhill from here.
DeleteThe only way to top it is if Ray Durham commented he too thought Hell Fest was a perfect movie.
DeleteThis is honestly the only awards list that makes me happy because it's both true and hilarious. Blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks bud. So nice :-)
DeleteI love this list every year.
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ReplyDeleteSaw It to Write A Funny Review & Then No One Commented on the Review For and Loudest made me laugh pretty hard.
The Binness awards is the best awards! Thank you Adam. Thoughts:
ReplyDeleteGood to see some love for Superfly.
I thought Super Troopers 2 (I had to scroll up and check that was the correct title...Super Troopers? That can't be right.) was hilarious. It spent a good deal of it's run time playing on Canadian stereotypes, which I found humourous. I'm not a big fan of the first one (which landed a bit after my "college years"), particularly, so it wasn't a nostalgia boost.
I don't know a single person who has seen You Were Never Really Here. Not counting internet persons. Or myself, I guess. I'm still mulling it over.
I'm going to have to deviate, however, and say The Happytime Murders is one of my favourite comedies of this year. I don't get the hate for it (not from you, but just from everyone). It was great, raunchy, funny, great puppetry, everything I wanted from it. But apparently everyone hates it. Oh, well.
Gotta agree on Incredibles 2. So dull.
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