F This Movie! - High Fidelity

Patrick and JB know that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like.

Heath Holland On...American Graffiti

1) I recently watched American Graffiti for the first time.
2) I loved it. It’s well deserving of its reputation as a classic.
3) See you next week!

Our Favorite Books About Movies

Here at F This Movie!, we don't just watch movies. Sometimes we read books. As long as they are about movies.

Unsung!: Movie Movie

“I promised to make you a star one day. Well, that day… is tonight.”

Riske Business: 15 Reasons You Own DVDs You'll Never Watch

A few weeks ago I walked into my home and I thought I was robbed. There were DVDs spilled out on my living room floor all the way to my front door. I walked in and soon realized, to my relief, all that happened was my DVD rack fell over. At this point I came to terms that I own too many movies.  As I picked up the pieces I paid closer attention than ever before to what I actually own. It was a sobering and embarrassing experience leaving me with one question repeated dozens of times over.

WHY DO I OWN THIS?

I'll Watch Anything: Patrick Watches Ultraviolet

This is the kind of movie that makes me ashamed to be a nerd.

Weekend Weigh-in: Share Your Oscar Picks and Predictions

And don't forget to follow @fthismovie on Oscar night for all your up-to-the-minute joke needs.

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Feb. 22)

Dudes AND dudettes -- the [barf]Academy Awards[/barf] are this Sunday, and I just KNOW you're dying to read what WE (specifically, Patrick, JB, Erika, Jan B. and yours truly, in addition to some special guests [i.e., "My wife!" -Borat]) have to say about them. Follow @FThisMovie on Twitter for all the up-to-the-minute wardrobe malfunction BONER ALERTS.

Heath Holland On...Three Flicks: Dolph Lundgren

Welcome to a new feature for Heath Holland On…: "Three Flicks!" From time to time, I’ll bring you my thoughts on three movies, either by one actor or held together by a common theme. This column, as promised last week, is the first (but not the last) to feature Dolph Lundgren.

F This Movie! - Forrest Gump

Patrick and Doug is as Patrick and Doug does.

Heavy Action: A Good Day to Die Hard

Is it possible that A Good Day to Die Hard isn't as bad as everyone says while still being absolutely no good?

Unsung!: Oscar-Nominated Shorts

The Oscar-nominated short films, those red-headed stepchildren of the motion picture industry, are being released for the eighth year to actual movie theaters in selected cities. This is a positive trend, but I wish more studios and theaters would bring back the idea of showing “selected short subjects” before the main feature. Remember those Three Stooges shorts you watched on television as a kid… or The Little Rascals… or Looney Tunes? Those were all originally shown in movie theaters. Those were the days! (AND GET OUT OF MY YARD!)

Like You Were There: Adam Riske at the Die Hard Marathon

On Wednesday, February 13th, I went to see all five Die Hard movies at a theater in suburban Chicago. Care to relive the day with me? 

Weekend Weigh-in: What is the Best Action Franchise?

No, the Wild Things series does not count.

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Feb. 15)

Kind of a shitty week for trailers (sorry in advance!) so let's talk about something else. Anyone out there see A Good Day to Die Hard? If so, what did you think? Because it looks like garbage. Is it? IS IT GARBAGE? Look, I do trailerz here, not feature-length movies, so I'm counting on you people to fill me in. DON'T LET ME DOWN.

Our Favorite Movie Couples

Happy Valentine's Day! Let's celebrate love. The good kind of love. Movie love. Here are our favorite movie couples.

Mark Ahn Knows Kung fu: Fist of Legend

by Mark Ahn

If you love movies, you love talking about your favorites, and I love the crap out of Fist of Legend.

F This Movie! - The Faculty

Patrick and Alex discuss sex aliens, '90s nostalgia, John Hughes and debate Team Clea vs. Team Jordana in their discussion of Robert Rodriguez's 1998 sci-fi teen movie The Faculty. Guaranteed to jack you up.

Riske Business: The Hall of Kick-Ass, Vol. 1

Meeting a celebrity can be a bit of a mixed bag. Sometimes a quick encounter enhances your opinion of the person; other times, it turns you off to them completely. I am NOT going to talk about the bad encounters because in the words of the great Kirsten Dunst, “Why waste your tears on someone who makes you cry?”

Unsung!: They Might Be Giants

Most of you have probably figured out by now that Mssrs. Bromley and Riske are more than merely my lovers – they are my role models when it comes to film criticism. Much like those gentlemen’s reviews of Side Effects and The ABC’s of Death, this review of They Might Be Giants offers only a qualified recommendation. That officially makes it “Mixed Bag” Week here at F This Movie! (Take that as you will.)

Heath Holland On...Smokey, the Bandit and the Resurrection of the Alabama Kid

This week’s column was NOT supposed to be about Smokey and the Bandit. It was going to be about the three Dolph Lundgren movies I bought last week and what I thought about them. It was going to be called Dolph Lundren Triple Play, and I was going to go on and on about how I thought he was underrated and consistently put out decent, low budget straight-to-DVD action movies on a regular basis. That column was all set to go, and I had extensive notes. It was already mostly written in my head.

This is not that column.

Review: Side Effects (Adam Riske's Take)

by Adam Riske

Side Effects is worth seeing. Not by a long shot, but just barely.

Review: The ABCs of Death

by Patrick Bromley

I'm having a tough time reconciling my feelings about the new horror anthology The ABCs of Death. I do not think it's a very good movie. At times, it's almost stunningly bad. And yet I think it's kind of worth seeing -- provided you have a strong stomach and a high threshold for nonsense.

Weekend Weigh-in: What Director Is Ready to Hang It Up?

But don't be mean about it.

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Feb. 8)

If there's one thing I learned from that foxy clock saleswoman, it's that we CAN'T LIVE IN THE PAST (if there are two things I've learned from that foxy clock saleswoman, it's that, " Half past a monkey's ass, quarter to his balls," is NEVER the appropriate time). Still, how 'bout the second annual #FThisMovieFest last Saturday, huh? What a blast! Really, we appreciate everyone's participation, funny tweets and willingness to spend 10+ hours with us watching awesome movies from 1991 ([COUGH] we know what we're doing [COUGH]). Next year's gonna be even bigger/better. Until then, TRAILERZ!

Heath Holland On...The Dark Knight Returns

BATMAN. That one word (much like DIARRHEA) conjures up something powerful and different for all of us. I wonder, what was the first image that popped into your mind when you saw it? Batman, that is. Not diarrhea. Though you could have the same answer for both.

They Are Already Doing the New Star Wars Wrong

by Patrick Bromley

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Heavy Action: Bullet to the Head

Bullet to the Head is the first collaboration between two titans of '80s action: Sylvester Stallone and Walter Hill. Had it been made in the prime of both men, it might have really been something. This version just came too late. Actually, wait: Stallone has aged just fine into the part. The movie needs 2012 Stallone and 1985 Walter Hill. That's the movie I want to see.

Riske Business: Daniel Day-Lewis is Overrated

Allow me to be the first person in history to say I am not the biggest Daniel Day-Lewis fan. Get your stones kids! Blasphemy! Chase him to the old windmill!

Unsung!: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

Maybe for just one week the name of this column should be changed to “Hated and Ignored” because that was the reception this unique David Lynch film received upon its original release.

F This Movie! - The F This Movie Fest 2 Show

The 2013 F This Movie Fest is in the books. After five movies and thousands of Tweets, members of the FTM crew sat down to talk about the movies they saw and everything that happened during the fest. Thanks to everyone who participated and made it such a big success! We know what we're doing!

It's F This Movie Fest 2!

Today is the day! Celebrate 1991 with us!

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Feb. 1)

Are you sufficiently jazzed about #FThisMovieFest yet (details here)? If not, you probably just need to check out the trailerz for the five featured movies, below. Special thanks to the Chicago Reader, Gapers Block and Chicagoist for showcasing our one-of-a-kind event on their websites. Thanks guys/gals!

1991 in Film: Best of the Rest

F This Movie Fest is TOMORROW YOU GUYS. Let's talk one more time about 1991.

Boyz n the Hood (Mark Ahn's Take)

There is something that soars in my heart when I think about Los Angeles.