Thursday, January 2, 2014
Riske Business: 2013 in Film - "The Binness Awards"
90-Minute Good Movie that Feels 3 Hours Long: Don Jon
3 Hour Good Movie that Feels 90-Minutes Long: The Wolf of Wall Street
Angriest I Got at a Movie: Like Someone in Love, Room 237, All is Lost
Best Action Movie: Fast and Furious 6 (Runner Up: Man of Tai Chi)
Best Cliffhanger: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Best Crying: Tom Hanks in Captain Phillips
Best Jewish Guy: Balin from The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Best Moral Indignation: (tie) Steve Coogan in Philomena (very much worth seeing) and Peter Sarsgard in Blue Jasmine (who should have to uncover a liar in every movie)
Best Movie You Would See at the Mall in 1995: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Best Musical Sequence: The use of Britney Spears’ “Everytime” in Spring Breakers or the band called Death’s kids discovering their music in A Band Called Death
Best Newcomer in a Good Movie: Adele Exarchopoulos in Blue is the Warmest Color and Tye Sheridan in Mud
Best Original Song: "Five Hundred Miles" from Inside Llewyn Davis
Best Performance in a Bad Movie: Jane Levy in Evil Dead
Best Scene from a Good Movie: Sharni Vinson goes on the offensive in You’re Next and the reveal of what’s really happening in Stoker
Best Use of a Camera: Amy Adams in American Hustle, breaking into Audrina Patridge’s house in The Bling Ring and James Wan’s direction in The Conjuring
Biggest Disappointment: Elysium
Pain & Gain was ok until Patrick and I talked about it and c) I wanted people to stop beating up Paul Dano in Prisoners.
Disney’s Leaving Las Vegas: Saving Mr. Banks
Funniest Moment: The flag twirling in White House Down
Funniest Movie: This is the End
Man of Steel, Dallas Buyers Club, Prince Avalanche, The Great Gatsby, Oblivion, Disconnect, 42, Trance
I’m Suffocating on Indie Twee: The Way Way Back, The Kings of Summer
I Personally Know Someone Who Saw: Instructions Not Included
I Will See it One Day, Probably on the Day I First Try Arby’s: Broken City, Snitch, Runner Runner, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, Rush, We Are What We Are, We’re the Millers, Paranoia, Crystal Fairy, The To-Do List, 20 Feet from Stardom, What Maisie Knew, No One Lives, The East, The Call, No
Escape Plan, Passion, Dealin’ with Idiots, The Iceman, Movie 43
Made Me Embarrassed to Be a Person: The Internship, Metallica: Through the Never, Steve Carell’s performance in Anchorman 2
Makes Beer Look Amazing: The World’s End, Drinking Buddies
Most Boring: Kiss of the Damned, Dead Man Down, To the Wonder and 2 Guns
Movies Adults Can’t Talk About Without Sounding Three Years Old: Pacific Rim, Thor: The Dark World
Movies I Couldn’t Finish: Warm Bodies, Identity Thief, Grown Ups 2, Kick Ass 2, The Grandmaster, Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
Movies I Took a Break During and Walked in the Lobby for 10 Minutes Because I was Bored: Iron Man 3, G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Frozen, I Declare War, Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay, The Heat, Bullet to the Head, Mama, John Dies at the End
Movies that Hate You: The ABCs of Death, Only God Forgives, The Purge, Now You See Me, Olympus Has Fallen, Oz the Great and Powerful, 21 & Over
Not as Good as Free Willy 2: Blackfish
Paradox: White Jewish man loves The Best Man Holiday. The power of movies!
The Wolverine, Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain, Lee Daniels’ The Butler, Good Ol’ Freda, Ender’s Game, Monsters University, Riddick, The Last Stand
Salt in the Wound: Robert De Niro shit on the goodwill I had for him from Silver Linings Playbook by starring in The Family, Killing Season and Last Vegas. He also sent me a picture of himself shitting on a Goodwill building. Admittedly, he was fine in Grudge Match and American Hustle, so I’m the asshole. Well played, Bob.
Stop Picking on Them: Star Trek into Darkness, Grudge Match, Oldboy, Homefront, Escape from Tomorrow, The Counselor, Insidious: Chapter 2, The Lone Ranger (it’s the worst movie of the year right, snob critics?), The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, After Earth, The Lords of Salem
They’re Not Overrated, I Just Didn’t See the Great Movie You Saw: Her, Gravity, 12 Years a Slave, Nebraska, Fruitvale Station, The Act of Killing, Stories We Tell, Before Midnight, Upstream Color
Worst Sequel: A Good Day to Die Hard. No wait. The Hangover Part III. Oh, never mind, it’s Machete Kills.
Would be Great if it Weren’t For… Enough Said, The Spectacular Now, The Place Beyond the Pines, Side Effects
Most importantly, I’d like to take a second to thank all of our loyal readers, commenters and listeners who are truly wonderful people that I love to talk movies with. I can’t wait to continue the discussion in 2014. You are all the best!